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Post by Max Sinister on Aug 21, 2024 21:18:07 GMT
An old crook in Nazi Germany is dying. On his deathbed, he tells his son: "I had the bad luck of being born in a dark age, that's why I became a criminal. You have the good luck to live in the new Germany. That's why I'm telling you: Become a statesman!"
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Post by American hist on Aug 23, 2024 3:52:55 GMT
An old crook in Nazi Germany is dying. On his deathbed, he tells his son: "I had the bad luck of being born in a dark age, that's why I became a criminal. You have the good luck to live in the new Germany. That's why I'm telling you: Become a statesman!" because Adolf Hitler was a statesman? Also germany was divided up to different parts and perhaps some germans thought germany may end up in different countries is that the joke? |
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Post by Max Sinister on Aug 23, 2024 22:09:22 GMT
An old crook in Nazi Germany is dying. On his deathbed, he tells his son: "I had the bad luck of being born in a dark age, that's why I became a criminal. You have the good luck to live in the new Germany. That's why I'm telling you: Become a statesman!" because Adolf Hitler was a statesman? Also germany was divided up to different parts and perhaps some germans thought germany may end up in different countries is that the joke? It's often stated that you shouldn't explain jokes, it kills them. But if anyone wants to know: {Spoiler}
Yeah - in Nazi Germany, crooks can become statesmen!
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Post by Max Sinister on Aug 24, 2024 22:39:31 GMT
For once, a post-war joke.
A US diplomat in Europe is complaining how difficult his job is. Recently, he and two other diplomats - a Frenchman and a German - had to go through a door.
"If I go first, they'll think: 'Typical dollar-driven Yankee arrogance'."
"If I let the German go first, the Frenchman will think 'Oh, now he prefers the former enemy to a brother in arms!'."
"If I let the Frenchman go first, the German will complain 'Typical, they're always in cahoots holding us down!'."
"So we had to squeeze through the door, all three of us. And afterwards, I heard the Frenchman whisper to the German: 'That's typical for them, no manners at all!'"
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stevep
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Post by stevep on Aug 25, 2024 9:10:39 GMT
For once, a post-war joke. A US diplomat in Europe is complaining how difficult his job is. Recently, he and two other diplomats - a Frenchman and a German - had to go through a door. "If I go first, they'll think: 'Typical dollar-driven Yankee arrogance'." "If I let the German go first, the Frenchman will think 'Oh, now he prefers the former enemy to a brother in arms!'." "If I let the Frenchman go first, the German will complain 'Typical, they're always in cahoots holding us down!'." "So we had to squeeze through the door, all three of us. And afterwards, I heard the Frenchman whisper to the German: 'That's typical for them, no manners at all!'"
Ironically its a logical problem as whenever your top dog people tend to start thinking ill of your 'pretensions' and also interaction with other nations and people.
I did think that he could have just hung back and left it to the other two to decide who goes 1st and 2nd. However you could have either/both. a) Something of an unsightly tussle between the two possibly accompanied by comments that "the yanks are try to keep us divided". b) I think often in diplomatic situations the most important person in a group would be the one who enters last so they could also complain about him exerting his 'superiority'.
Basically he simply can't win.  |
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Post by Max Sinister on Aug 29, 2024 1:14:02 GMT
Karl Valentin is doing a political cabaret:
"Once, the Ultramontane (Centre Party) ruled us, and what did we have? Bonzen! (bigwigs) After the revolution, the marxists came, and what did we have? Bonzen! Now, finally, we have the national socialists. And what do we have today? Friday."
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Post by Max Sinister on Aug 31, 2024 11:16:43 GMT
Hitler is making a speech claiming he was for peace: "Look around in Germany! The people wear ersatz clothing; can't get coffee, tea, chocolate, even butter; rubber, metal and other resources are rationed; forced labor is introduced; we are murdering people; why does Germany need to make war if she has all of that in peace already?"
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 4, 2024 13:43:28 GMT
Nazi Germany again.
Man #1: "On my word of honor!"
Man #2: "One moment! Which one do you mean? Like Hitler? Like Papen? A German man's? A soldier's? The German Reich's? The Austrian one? The Italian one? The fascist one? The national-socialist one?"
Man #1: "...The one you hold of course!"
Man #2: "Oh, does that still exist?"
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 7, 2024 13:39:50 GMT
Do you know the recent genre of "Dad jokes"? I'm asking because I thought about something.
German author Walter Kempowski (born in 1929) wrote several books about his childhood and youth. One of which, "Tadellöser & Wolff", even was turned into a movie.
What's the title about? A phrase his father liked to use. Whenever he really liked something, he'd call it "Tadellos, Tadellöser, Tadellöser und Wolff". The first part of which means "Flawless, more flawless", and the last part is a pun on "Loeser & Wolff", a chain with many tobacco shops from that time (because his father liked their cigars too).
I haven't actually watched the movie (it's from 1975), and it took some time until I read the book. That's when I learned that the title is essentially just a dad joke.
In this special case, history really seems to repeat.
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 11, 2024 1:19:36 GMT
Man #1: "It smells like war."
Man #2: "Why do you think so?"
Man #1: "Hitler made another speech about peace."
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 13, 2024 23:18:23 GMT
Swiss-German border. Two boys from the different nations are watching each other. The Swiss boy is eating a piece of chocolate.
Swiss: "Nee-ner, we have chocolate!"
German: "Nee-ner, we have a führer!"
Swiss: "Nee-ner, we'll soon have a führer too!"
German: "Nee-ner, then you won't have chocolate either!"
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 17, 2024 19:48:35 GMT
World War 2. In a small Bavarian village, Sepp Muckenhuber goes to the confessional.
Sepp: "Is it a mortal sin if I hate somebody so much that I wish him to drop dead?"
Priest: "In this special case, no."
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stevep
Fleet admiral
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Post by stevep on Sept 17, 2024 22:07:22 GMT
World War 2. In a small Bavarian village, Sepp Muckenhuber goes to the confessional. Sepp: "Is it a mortal sin if I hate somebody so much that I wish him to drop dead?" Priest: "In this special case, no."
I wonder who he was thinking of?  |
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 21, 2024 0:57:31 GMT
A delegation of the church meets Adenauer. They have some wishes re: culture politics.
Adenauer declines.
Delegation leader: "We can't say 'yes' to this!" (Hard to translate.)
Adenauer: "In my opinion, the church should say neither 'yes' nor 'no', but only 'amen'."
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Post by Max Sinister on Sept 25, 2024 9:25:21 GMT
East Germany. A wife tried to buy some steel nails in her city, but to no avail.
Her Socialist husband: "That's because of those revanchists from Bonn. They just cancelled the interzone trade agreement!"
Wife: "Stop talking nonsense! When we had that trade agreement, there were no nails either!"
Husband: "See? That proves that we didn't need it!"
(I guess that's an example of those famous dialectics.)
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