Alternate History a true story

I know this will be hard to take in, but this is something I have personally struggled with for years and is so outlandish I know most people won't believe me no matter how I plead my case. This is why I don't usually openly discuss topics like this. I guess I'm a coward, more so since my memories only returned a few years back and a lot of the details are still hazy.

My own boyfriend doesn't even know the details I am about to share with you guys, but I wanted someone to know and at least maybe understand.

My own problems began back in 1998. I was 17 at the time when I experienced something like a waking nightmare. I woke up completely frozen in my own body in what they now call sleep paralysis. I was in a panic at the time though I didn't understand why, and would not until much later. At school I was left to my own, I had no friends and no one to speak with, which felt odd to me. I was a very outgoing girl and something of a goofball, but everyone treated me like the plague.

Eventually I got used to this, graduated and joined the Navy for a few years. I never could really rid myself of this nagging sensation, a feeling of fear especially when I was alone at night. I got to where I'd sleep with my tv on to shed some light. I felt completely vulnerable in the dark, like something was after me I could not see or hear.

After my time in the military I returned home and spent the next 7 years looking after my great grandma, then feeling a need to be out and doing something I started traveling. I felt restless for some reason, I never have felt comfortable staying in one spot for too long, even though for the most part I am forced to due to necessity. I've been to Mississippi, Louisiana, Virginia, California, Michigan, and Washington DC. I met my current fiancee in MI who I am with now around 5 years ago.

This is where things turn a little odd.

My boyfriend is Wiccan and feeling no real connection with any other religion I started dabbling in this. It felt more natural to me and without the strictness of some other religions. ( not putting down other religions, just telling my story ) This is a nature based religion with the only real tenet being not to do harm to yourself or others. So naturally when I met him and realized he felt the same I was drawn to him.

A few years ago the dreams started. There were always empty streets and the feeling of being secretly watched as I strode down the streets. More then that I felt empty and afraid. I didn't know of what, and when I returned to my home I spent my teenage years in it was always empty, when my parents my dad and stepmom were there they were always cold and distant.

I'd wake up feeling on the verge of remembering something that was just out of reach.

Then one day just seemly out of the blue pieces of memory started coming back that I couldn't make sense of. I remembered being alone at night, and the electricity going out. There was a feeling of extreme fear and I remember going to bed but being unable to sleep. Everything was dark and there were sounds like footsteps creeping around outside. The fear is the part that is the clearest. I remember hiding under my bed and shaking in fear, especially when I heard the sound of breaking glass. A window or the sliding glass door to my home I wasn't sure.

I was under my bed, peering out slightly from the bedspread covering my bed when I saw a dark brown boot covered in caked mud and could see a little up the leg to see this person was in military camouflage. He had some flashlight or something so it was easy to see in the dark. The colors were a muddy yellow, dark brown, drab white or a little orange. I always remembered the fear from that but never the reason.

It started off creeping more into my dreams, then when I was awake I stared recalling more and more. None of this felt like a dream anymore, it felt too real, more like I was remembering a real event from my teenage years, like how people remember going to the prom, or their first kiss and the like. I didn't know who the person in camouflage was, but I remembered I didn't want him to find me. I felt like if he saw me he would kill me, though I still didn't know why then.

My final memory came when I was least expecting it and triggered an anxiety attack so extreme it took awhile just to get my breath back. I remember my vision even turning white for a few moments. I remembered everything and for once I wish I hadn't remembered anything at all.

The man in my room that night was a soldier, and not just any one. I remember being under military occupation from China, and we were not allowed out of our houses. Our side was fighting back but there wasn't a lot of support. The United nations was trying but a lot of the smaller cities especially in the south had enough forest to hide Chinese troops, the bigger cities like our Capitols and things were priority, until then my town was mostly left alone but people were afraid to leave their homes.

This was world war 3, but instead of some random nation out there being under siege, we were the ones invaded. I don't know how it happened but I know it did.

I think I may have died that night, or just woke up in this dimension. I'm not sure, I'm not even really sure if I belong here. Should I be back there? Am I a coward for leaving even if I don't understand how I left? All I feel is guilt now, and some fear this will all catch up to me one day.

All I know is everything was in chaos and people were dying. I don't want any of this and in a way I don't want to go back even if I could.

This is my story so take it as you will. You can choose to believe me or not, think I'm crazy or what you will. I just wanted to get this off my chest after a long time. I will never reveal who I really am, but at least some weight is off my shoulders with this, and maybe over time I will remember more.