Dark Earth: Never Had it So Good

So he suffers the fate that Churchill almost befell upon when he was in NYC.

Never Had it So Good Part 21

Sam awoke refreshed, seemingly in both body and soul, to a glorious morning. The gentle rays of the warm sun shone down upon his still-closed eyes and he thought, for just a moment, that he was back home and the last few days had been nothing more than an extremely vivid dream. As he slowly blinked his way to reality, he was swiftly disabused of such an impression as he perceived the carved oak of his bed and the increasingly familiar sight of his guest room in the Bailey residence. The sun was shining, the birds were singing without and, in what had become a welcome addition to his awakening, the muffled yet happy sound of the children gradually filtered up from downstairs. Sitting up in bed, he accidentally shrugged off the necklace that had been such a boon to his sleep.

He arose and went about the business of the morning, and as he did, he felt compelled for some reason to remember his home and family. It was only with great difficulty that he could do so and it seemed as if he had to forcibly summon the memories from what seemed to be a vast gulf of time and space. Even when they came, they were blurred and their colours seemed increasingly indistinct, like old and faded photographs of someone that he used to know. Sam Johnson shook his head vigorously to dispel the weird feeling that had come over him.

I want to go home. But will I ever…

Setting aside his momentary ennui, Sam made his way down the stairs for breakfast. Even before he entered the dining room, he could hear the excited chatter about the marvels of the village fair. It was a wonder to be young and regard everything as fresh and new. Bailey seemed to be awaiting him as he rounded into the room.

"Morning Sam! Sleep well?"

"Yes, like a log, and a very tired one at that."

"Excellent. I knew the old whatsit would fix things up. Tuck in before these young angelic creatures devour the table in their ravenous fast-breaking."

Sam helped himself to a plate, loaded it with crispy golden bacon, fried eggs, toast and roasted tomatoes, poured himself a cup of tea from the delicate porcelain teapot and settled down at his now customary place.

"Paper?"

"Thanks, yes."

The Times was full of interesting tidbits this morning. A substantial feature discussed the Commonwealth war games in the Middle East, Exercise Broadsword, describing them as the largest military forces concentrated in the area since the War of 1956 and displaying several full colour maps and tables to illustrate their activities. The most striking feature was the sheer scale of it all, with bombers flying in from several continents and fleets operating in three seas. A large picture of military vehicles and soldiers in the Negev Desert provided a fascinating contrast between the now-familiar FV-432s, formidable Chieftains and what he presumed were hulking Conqueror heavy tanks with several stranger types, such as two types of self propelled anti-aircraft guns, a tracked vehicle topped with two quad SAM launchers, a huge self propelled gun and an armoured missile tank with four large missiles positioned in launchers. The infantrymen were clad in desert camouflage uniforms and some form of body armour and many of their rifles were fitted with grenade launchers and what he thought was a telescopic sight. However, the most surprising element was the pair of walking battle robots festooned with cannon and rocket launchers; he presumed these were the 'war machines' he had read about.

In other news, the Foreign Secretary had flown to Baghdad for consultations with the Arab League Prime Ministers prior to preparations for the Antarctic Conference, Portugal had announced that it would be reinforcing its colony in Angola to counter 'communist subversion' and preparations for the independence of Ceylon in October were being finalised. There seemed to be a bit going on in the world of science, with a Princeton professor claiming to have invented a new substance with remarkable properties and the US Army announcing the development of an advanced new tank destroyer. A new breed of giant chicken had been unveiled at an agricultural show in Yorkshire and the Ministry of Food was said to be extremely interested in their potential. There was an extensive article on Japan, which was preparing for the 1964 Summer Olympics in Tokyo at great pace; Sam did find the mention of the launch of a new super battleship named Yamato as a bit striking. Commercial air flights between Germany and Poland were set to resume in July, according to the Soviets, and the Kirov Ballet had apparently had a triumphal performance in Paris. and General Douglas MacArthur had been met with a rapturous reception on his first visit to the Philippines since the end of the Second World War.

“You weren’t wrong about Broadsword; there are some very familiar touches to it, such as the armed helicopter gunships and the close air support Harriers. But were those bayonets I saw?”

“I thought you might like that one. It is a bit of an ongoing joke that the Crabs have been playing since the war; they like to emphasise they provide very close air support, you see. Still, it plays its purpose – the powers that be want the Harrier to get a lot of press coverage so that the Yanks, Germans and Japanese can be courted.”

“Japanese Harriers? That would be something But Yamato? Really?” Sam looked at Bailey quizzically.

“Yes, the Japanese have a way of making a statement. Jolly big beast as well, she is, from what I’ve seen.”

“It seems like they are trying to make a very, very sharp point with Broadsword.”

"I'd wager it is a very pointed exercise, and not just to the Russians. It also shows Washington and the Arabs what force we can bring to bear in the region, reflecting our intent to stay top dog in that neighbourhood. The Americans are also want to do the same in the Philippines and now presumably in Germany."

“The picture of all the armoured vehicles in the desert was a bit of a puzzle; I could get some of them, but others…I must have ‘forgotten’.”

“Ah, of course. The ack-ack guns are the Marksman and Sharpshooter, with twin 42s and quad 25s respectively. Very nasty propositions for anything that goes down low and they are thinking about joining them up with short range missiles. The SAGWs are the PT.428 Rapiers – they take care of the intermediate zone above the light guns and below the Thunderbirds. That big mobile gun is the Challenger, the replacement for the old wartime Black Prince tank destroyers; their 7.2” guns can ruin anyone’s day. That leaves the Strongbows, one of the FV-430 family that carries the Hawker-Siddeley Maelstrom heavy anti-tank missile.”

Victoria leaned over to refill Sam’s teacup. “Honestly, you boys and your weapon chatter. Anyone would think you were twelve year olds comparing the fighter pictures in your scrapbooks.” She slipped her dig in with a sweetly sardonic grin and an almost imperceptible wink.

“Hey!” Sam, Simon and Peter all chorused simultaneously.

“Anyway, they’re not scrapbooks; they’re a collection.” grumbled Peter, astonished that his own mother could make such a cardinal error.

“Alas, mine own inamorata hath skewered me fair and square on that one; I can’t help myself sometimes.” Simon gave a knowing shake of his head and rose up from the table. “Now, o cherished brood of mine, what say you to a day at the fair?”

“Oh, yes please Father!”

“Yes, do say we can go now!”

“Go and help your mother and Mrs. Beaton clear up and then we’ll go.”

So it was that some twenty-five minutes later, Sam found himself traipsing off in procession through the Bailey front gate once again, accompanied by the enthusiastically animated children and the rather bemused Simon and Victoria. There was an unmistakable distant hum of activity, merriment and music coming from the direction of the centre of the village. The Bailey children scampered ahead, busily liaising with their equally enthusiastic neighbours and planning out what to try first.

“Quite the stroke of luck they’ve had, getting to go to the fair. I’d best hurry along and keep up with them and ensure that they don’t spend all of their pocket money in one fell swoop.” Victoria walked purposefully ahead down the leafy street, gradually catching up with the children as they rounded the corner.

“I’ve never actually been to an old-fashioned village fair before.”

“Old-fashioned? You futurist types are all the same, looking on down on us backwards past-timers.” Bailey teased with a merry grin.

“Ah, I didn’t mean it that way…”

“No matter, my dear chap, just winding you up. We have a fair few of them, come to think of it.”

Sam groaned quietly at Bailey’s pun, but that just seemed to encourage him.

“Never fear, this won’t be a fête worse than death.”

“Please.”

“Alright, alright. We do have several across the course of the year, of one form or another, either here or in one of the nearby villages. It has been going for a while.”

“How long?”

“1236, I believe.”

“A rather new one, then.”

“That’s the spirit. Jolly good things, fairs, and not just because of the wassail and food or the fun and games for the children. They’re a good chance for people to mingle and try out the best of the local goods and produce; it even gives the youngsters a chance to kick up their heels and do some dancing and courting. This one is a bit more special, though.”

“Why?”

“There is a carnival train coming for this one. They travel across the country from fair to fair, with a whole array of games, show rides, amusement stalls and what have you. And, if I’m not too wrong, this one has been routed this way by my lords and master to provide an opportunity to slip a bit more security around the place on account of your good self, Sam.”

“I’d like to say I’m honoured, but truth be told, I’d rather your lords and masters get me home rather than placate me with bread and circuses.”

“Quite understandable, my boy, but we’re doing what we can on that front. You’ll just have to trust me on that. The best thing you can do is enjoy yourself a bit while you’re waiting.”

“I guess I shall try.”

That seemed to be enough for Bailey, who happily raised up his walking stick in greeting at an inquisitive thrush that sat on a low branch of a nearby yew tree. It seemed to trill something in reply.

“Wonderful! Ah, Sam! It is a shame you didn’t come on through from ‘Australia’ a few weeks later; you would have been here for Midsummer. Then you’d have the mummer’s play, dancing and bonfires and feasting through the night. Or May Day for that matter – then we have a glorious fête with the maypole, Morris dancing, the crowning of the May Queen and a big procession with the Jack in the Green. Lovely stuff.”

"Seems like something out of The Wicker Man."

Simon looked at Sam quite sharply, his eyes narrowing. "Wicker men? What do you know about that sort of thing?"

"It was a film about pagans in Scotland luring in a policeman to sacrifice him in a giant wooden effigy."

Bailey blanched visibly and crossed himself. "A film? More of your wicked entertainment, like vampires living with children and manic madmen? In all honesty, Sam, your home sounds quite diabolical at times. I'd keep very quiet about it is I were you. Should someone overhear you talking of such things..."

"What? The Spanish Inquisition will get me?"

"No, I don't expect them. We've got our own 'protectors' from the deprivations of darkness - the Office of the Witchfinder General. Six hundred indefatigable inquisitors trained in the pursuit of evil since childhood and absolutely fanatical about it. Witches, devilry, black magic, monsters, torture, sacrilege and vileness of any kind - they will stop at nothing to destroy it, without pity, without mercy."

"That sounds utterly bizarre, like something out of the Middle Ages."

"The 1600s, I believe and they are more than a little bizarre, in this age or any other. It would be bad enough if they were dour, sour sorts, like the Spaniards, but the WG's men have a rather...dark...sense of humour. Some even like their duty."

"Sounds like you've ran into them."

"As it happens, I have. Once out in Singers and then the next year up in Scotland. Grim fellows, but bally efficient at their jobs."

“I really wouldn’t like to live in a country with a paranormal secret police around the corner just waiting to swoop.”

“It isn’t quite like that Sam, although I can see where you are coming from, at least from an external perspective. As for me, I wouldn’t like to live in a country where they weren’t around the corner, on account of the other things that are out there.”

As they rounded the last corner, there were no witchfinders or other surprises, much to Sam’s relief, but rather a terrific spectacle that did proper justice to all of Bailey’s earlier hagiography. The village square buzzed with activity as dozens upon dozens of people young and old gathered around the tea rooms, the pub and various other businesses, taking refreshments, talking or lining up to have their picture taken at a flowery booth, while a brass band played jauntily underneath the bandstand. A large banner on The Lion and Unicorn proclaimed that it was offering halfling-cooked meals all day.

Beyond the spectacle of the square, where just yesterday afternoon had been the village green was a large wooden and wire fence, behind which arose a collection of brilliantly coloured tents, stalls and caravans, all arrayed in a series of circles around the rides, which were dominated by the large Ferris wheel that rose cheerily above them. The strains of calliope music echoed forth from within, along with the general hubbub of the fair, whilst wafting on the breeze came the delicious odours of roasted meats, sweet pastries and myriad other concoctions.

A line of eager fair-goers wound up to the garlanded gates, where an enormous bald man in an Arabian genie costume and a wizened white bearded gnome collected the entrance fee and waved them through. Beyond, Sam could see garishly clad clowns and finicky stumbling jugglers and a crowd of excited onlookers applauding the conclusion of a fire-eaters' act. Rakish barkers shouted out their pieces from the doors of several tents and stalls, adding to the cacophony. The overwhelming impression was one of a riot of colour, with every tent or stall being a new shade of brilliant cloth covered in intricate patterns and swirling pictures. He thought he could see Richard and Peter disappear around the corner towards the rides, not wasting any time, whilst other children flocked towards a vendor of fairy floss and toffee apples, who seemed to be rushed off his feet with the enthusiasm of the morning crowd.

They waited their turn in the line patiently, paid their sixpence apiece and finally entered the fair. As he crossed the line of the gate, Sam thought he felt a very faint, strange electrical charge run through him, but the feeling passed within a heartbeat. Inside the fair, there was a painted map on a wooden stand displaying the attractions available. He has already seen the Ferris wheel, but it was apparently joined by a helter skelter tower, teacups, some sort of flying saucer and a carousel, among other rides. Should that not tickle the fancy of fairgoers, then there was a menagerie, a hall of mirrors, shooting galleries, phantasmagoria, Wonders of the World, several games of chance and the House of Fun, along with a score of food stalls offering all manner of sweet and savoury delights. A small crowd was arrayed around a heavy muscled strongman dressed in a tigerskin and loincloth who was making a great show of lifting a tremendously heavy looking barbell, whilst another group staggered out of a red silk tent, stumbling and laughing whilst trying unsuccessfully to regain their balance.

“Anything in particular tickle your fancy, or would you rather a general wander?”

“I’m not entirely sure. What would you recommend?”

“Well, I was going to have a bit of a gander at some of the stalls, although it is a bit too early for a bite to eat, even for me; if we were halflings, we’d be getting ready for second breakfast, I’d wager.” Simon looked rather wistful at the notion of a seven-meal day, but swiftly gathered his wits. “I’ve always been rather partial to the wonders tents, myself. They always seem to have some interesting tidbits and a new way of looking at them to boot.”

Sam followed his host over to a large green and blue brocade pavilion, upon which was mounted a gilt title board emblazoned with ‘Wonders of the World’ in swirling italic calligraphy. An ornately embroidered portiere obscured the interior from his immediate vision, but the designs on it gave him a hint of what was to come – huge pyramids looming out of a desert, lush green gardens growing all over coloured terraces and a soaring lighthouse.

“Is this some ancient history thing? Because we have the Pyramids as well.”

“Not just ancient. Yesterday, today and tomorrow, my good sir! All the world wonders at our display of wonders!” Seemingly out of nowhere, an oily little man in a purple and gold kaftan appeared to bow low and usher them forward to cross the threshold. “Al-Zhakar’s Marvelous Treasury of the Wonders of the World awaits you.”

It seemed enough persuasion for Bailey, who pushed a few coins into the man’s hand and forged on inside. The smell of incense struck Sam immediately as he entered the dark interior of the tent and he had to blink several times to regain his vision. Before them was a series of dozens of booths that wound around the room, each of them displaying what looked like animated miniature models of different buildings and objects. As they drew closer to the first one, he could see tiny figures moving around on the ground beneath the shimmering white and gold pyramid and the lush gardens surrounding it. Strange music began to play, followed by a tinny commentary that prattled on as the scene dissolved into the construction of the pyramid. Without knowing how, Sam found himself being drawn down into the scene, like falling down a deep well into a bright light, so that he strode alongside the labourers of Ancient Egypt, felt the burning heat of a long-ago sun on his skin and beheld the majesty of the mighty construction firsthand. That was only the beginning. He was dazzled by the wonders of the ages they experienced, some familiar, such as the Great Wall, the Hanging Gardens, Macchu Picchu and the Taj Mahal, and others completely alient, such as the Khazar Gate, Xanadu, the Labyrinth of Minos and the House of Wisdom. He marveled at the Great Exhibition at the Crystal Palace and the opening of the Severn Barrage and soared high above the Transcontinental Railroad. All in all, this stall seemed to be worth its while.

“How did they do all that?” Sam was almost puffed as they came out of the tent, although he had undertaken no physical exertion.

“Magic, naturally. Not very powerful stuff, just standard illusions and immersive projection.”

“It seemed extraordinarily real.”

“That is because you wanted to go along with it; in this case, perception is nine-tenths of the law.”

Their next destination was the midnight blue and silver pavilion of Tomorrow’s World, which depicted many of the terrific inventions and technologies that would change the lives of everyday men and women in the far off future beyond the year 2000. This came as something of a humourous experience for Sam, as the notions of talking washing machines, personal jet packs, flying cars, home robots and drone delivered foodstuffs seemed right out of The Jetsons or some other fantastical cartoon of days gone by. The sheer size of ‘computing engines’ designed for home use almost made him laugh out loud, as did their version of a mobile telephone, which was looked like a standard old-fashioned phone with a rotary dial and extendable aerial. He did find the blithe expectation of supersonic air travel, nuclear fusion power and starships fascinating, given the some of the areas where this world was apparently more advanced. There were some interesting aspects that he hadn’t contemplated, such putative massive desalination schemes, solar power satellites and the eradication of tuberculosis and other infectious diseases. He was, however, disappointed that there were no hoverboards.

“I’m disappointed there were no hoverboards.” Sam remarked to Simon as they walked out of the pavilion.

“Hoverboards? Why would anyone need a flying floor? Flying carpets, I can understand. But floorboards?” Bailey looked extremely perplexed, picturing the havoc such a device could cause in his own household.

Sam thought for a moment. “They’re like skateboards, but they hover in the air.”

“Skateboards? Boards made of fish?”

“Never mind.”

Before the now-familiar culture clash could develop any further, Susan came running up through the crowd and presented herself in front of Simon, hands on hips.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, Father. Richard and I were at the games tent and he said he would win me a big stuffed fluffy bear and he did but now he won’t give it to me! Oh you must come, Father, you simply must come and make him give me the bear!”

"Righto, Sam, I'd best go and resolve this little imbroglio. I'll wager you'd like to have a bit of a look around for yourself, so what say you that we meet back here at the gate at noon." Bailey pulled out his pocketwatch to check the time. "That will give you almost an hour. Sound workable?"

"Absolutely. But what am I to do for money?"

"Drat and confound my absentmindedness! Here is a little something to tithe you over through the rest of the morning." Simon passed over a small pouch containing coins and a few folded notes. "That should do the trick." He then turned to Susan. "Now, let's see about your brother and this bear."

She seized him by the hand and led him off through the throng, leaving Sam to his own devices at last. He walked on through the noisy folk, still somewhat in a daze after the display of the Wonders, winding his way through the fairground, following a faintly familiar tune that seemed to beckon him forward. After a short while, he found himself in a quieter area where the crowd had thinned out; it was obviously somewhere on the edge of the village green, as just beyond the fence, a willow’s swaying branches seemed to whisper softly in the breeze.

Between two tents, there lay an old gypsy wagon, covered in intricate carvings, gilt edging and strange, swirling colours. The tune seemed to be emanating from the darkness inside, where he could see a flickering lamp burning through the partially opened door, even though it without was the bright of day. A small silver ankh was embedded into the wood above the doorway and he smelt a waft of burning incense as he came closer.

“You may enter, o seeker. We have been waiting.” said an ancient voice from within.

That line was a late inclusion, so I'm glad it worked.

The Khazars have survived, in the same way as the Circassians, Tatars or Georgians survived - as much put upon subjects of first the Russian Empire and then the Soviet one. I have them relocating across the Caspian at one point, but that is a matter for a different tale.

The House of Wisdom is in Baghdad and is one of the great libraries of the world, along with Alexandria, Constantinople and Rome. It is a different kind of Wisdom to Norman.

The gypsy wagon is neither security nor a threat...

Indeed. There is more than meets the eye in most places under the sun.

There are four more chapters to go in this story; I'll add some notes directly.

Chapter 21 Notes

- The circumstances of Sam's journey are starting to have an impact on his memories of home.
- Broadsword is both a test of deployment plans and capabilities and a political statement.
- The Conquerors being used are a new variant with improved armour and a more powerful engine. It's development comes from the concerning reports regarding Soviet heavy tanks over the last few years.
- The 'war machines' are a peculiarity that isn't ideally suited to a desert battlefield. They are around 12" high and appear to be a bipedal robot armed with combinations of a 50mm grenade launcher, a 25mm Maxim Gun, a 3.45" recoiless cannon and a rocket launcher. Their role in British Army service, as in the US Army and Red Army, is mobile infantry support, but they are starting to struggle on the modern battlefield with increased presence of ATGMs.
- The Challenger is based on the FV-215b, but the Strongbows don't have any direct equivalent in @, carrying a heavy 240mm ATGM in the missile-armed tank destroyer role. The US Army has a similar tank destroyer about to enter service, akin to a Super M901 ITV in some ways.
- The PT.428 is very effective.
- Something is brewing with the Arabs.
- The Antarctic Conference looks to be rather different in character.
- Portugal is moving towards a very messy war in Africa.
- Ceylon is the first of several British colonies on the cusp of independence.
- The Princeton professor is a bit nutty.
- Giant chickens have got Colonel Sanders rather intrigued, as well as the Ministry of Food.
- A new Yamato is going to be interesting.
- The Kirov Ballet is about to experience a defection.
- Harriers with bayonets is a joke picture, but as Bailey says, the purpose of the picture is to try and secure foreign orders.
- Bailey's rhapsodic musings on village fairs indicate a slightly different society once again.
- The Wicker Man isn't something that could be made in Dark Earth at this point, but it wouldn't be looked upon kindly in 1961 Britain in @.
- The Office of the Witchfinder General may be nasty, but it is seen as necessary.
- A few more Wonders of the World are still around, including some original ones as outlined. The Severn Barrage provides quite a slice of British electrical power generation, but demand continues to rise.
- The vision of the world of 2000 from the perspective of 1961 is very different. Some developments will receive some further attention.
- Simon is thoroughly confused by the idea of skateboarding, as it hasn't been developed in Dark Earth. Surfing hasn't caught on beyond Hawaii yet.
- The gypsy caravan has been referenced before and the sequence within will give Sam a bit more of a clue.

   Well well, some sinister goings on. The possession of a fake fortune teller and now a dodgy looking clown following them.

   Interesting comparison of police between the two worlds but with the darker natures of Darkearth its probably too necessary.

   Didn't Sam pick up a 4th tarot card or did I misread it. Sounded like he picked up three and then felt driven to pick up another one.